Project #4: Neo Tribe/Village
This is my most ambitious & long term one to date: I’m looking for a group of individuals (2+ couples + me & future partner) to raise families with.
Raising children is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility. “It takes a village”, joys of living in community, etc. etc.
I’m a ways from having children — recently single in fact, slide into those DMs if you or someone you know might be interested. But this is a multi decade project, easily requiring multiple years of lead time, so it can’t be too early to get started.
Requirements for collaborators at the time of raising children together:
- Stayed in connection through at least 1 major life change for each of us, probably minimum 3 years of relationship
- Stayed in connection through multiple substantive interpersonal conflicts with each other
- Comfort with being flexible/adaptive through changing conditions and following aliveness/emergence
- Effortlessness in making requests and responding authentically with each other
- Intention to parent with a partnership orientation (rather than benevolent dictatorship)
- Intention to make major life choices in consideration of the neo tribe, particularly being co-located most of the time
- Commitment to personal growth and learning
- Primary litmus test: if I died, would I feel good about you raising my children?
This shit doesn’t happen overnight, so here’s a bunch of things we can do that can get us moving in the right direction — if we can’t do these things we have no business trying to raise families together. This list roughly escalates in terms of commitment and interdependence.
- Crew together — weekly/biweekly calls in small groups where we connect, support each other, weave trust/vulnerability/belonging, and vibe
- Go on trips together — going on trips together can be a nice little pressure cooker for vibe checking compatibility. Can surface things like overlap in interests, response to uncertainty, response to pressure, response to disappointment, communication, etc. Here’s an intense one.
- Collaborate on projects — let’s make something cool together! Such as this birthday event! Pitch me on something, the smaller it is the more likely I am to say yes to simply fuck around and find out
- Colive for a month+ together — let’s get a sense of what it’d actually be like to live in community together! In my experience, this can be super healing/educational/rewarding/fun, and to me, is a critical vibe check. Could be like this or this.
- Move somewhere together — we could combine the previous 2 to get an even better sense of what it’d be like to do the thing together
- Invest in something together — we could experiment with managing an investment, negotiating differing opinions/motivations, work with our relationship with money and scarcity, particularly relative to connection, etc.
- ???
You might have noticed that the ideas don’t involve me being physically somewhere longer term until the higher levels of mutual commitment. I’m very location independent right now, and would probably need a substantial build up of mutual commitment to compromise on that, I imagine for at least the next year.
You might be a good collaborator today for embarking on this broader project if:
- You want to raise a family
- You want to be part of a high trust/vetted community
- You want to raise kids in a high trust/vetted community
- You’re interested in investing in non romantic relationships long term
- Any of the above ideas excites you
If you or anyone you know are interested in this, please reach out!!!
Other Projects
Project #1 — Move to a city with a crew
Project #2 — Lord of the Rings Themed Trip
